I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
