i just ordered a pitcher of margaritas for me and a friend but she called and canceled. oh well, looks like im getting trashed alone.
the waiter who hardly speaks english told me "i go get your medicine now"
this medicine is soooo good.
How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Randomize
