I'm laying in your front yard are you home
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
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