Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
Randomize
