Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
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