North Korea, Best Korea!
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
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