These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
Randomize
