I'm so fucking centered right now
hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
I want her autograph on my taint
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Randomize
