dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
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