Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
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