There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
Randomize
