whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
Randomize
