its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
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