Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
