Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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