Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Randomize
