we have officially lost it.
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize
