google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
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