so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
Randomize
