You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
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