we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
he was CRYING into my vagina
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
Randomize
