Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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