I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
Randomize
