worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
