white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
Randomize
