I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Randomize
