are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
Randomize
