can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
Randomize
