And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
Randomize
