Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize
