I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
Randomize