don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
Just woke up to Siri reminding me that i need to kill the giant orange spider in my room, because it's sorcery and witchcraft is sacrilegious. Did you give me LSD again!?!??!
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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