Dual....:-)
covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
You ate ashes out of my bong
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
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