for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
Randomize
