Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
Randomize
