Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
Randomize
