I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
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