We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Randomize
