Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
Randomize
