I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
