My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
Randomize
