there's paper in my vomit.
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
Randomize
