and my herpes radar will keep us safe
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
Randomize
