From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
Randomize
