everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
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