It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
I currently don't understand fingers.
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
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