Me. At least after what I've been through.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
Randomize
