no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
Randomize
