never play flip cup with pint glasses
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
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