all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Randomize
