So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
Randomize
