we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
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