Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize
