so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
