Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
Randomize
