I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
I could have mohawked her pubes.
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Randomize
