How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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