an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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