R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
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