I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
Randomize
