My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
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