You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Randomize
