When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
Randomize
