Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
Randomize
