guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
