Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
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