dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Randomize
