He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
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