Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
