You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
Randomize
