I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
I can't turn off my feet"
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
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