I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
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