Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
Randomize
